Another email silently lit up my screen. I already knew what it would say. It starts off – ‘It appears your application has an update….’ That always means the words to follow will be ‘Unlikely to progress’.
In this moment sadness, rejection, disappointment floods my soul. Am I not good enough? Why can I not even get an interview? Have I done something wrong? What can I do better? When will I get a job? What is wrong with me?
Again and again hope dies. I need to pick myself up to keep applying. I need a job. I need to provide for my family. I never thought I would be in this position.
I know I’m not alone in this. With Covid taking the world by storm, so many of us are feeling the pinch. So many unemployed. Losing hope. So many faced with rejection after rejection after rejection.
I tell myself this is not the end. This won’t last. I will be fully employed again. I’m thankful for some current casual work, and at the end of every week I seem to gain another. It’s daunting and scary because each week could be the end. I could be back on welfare. But I’m thankful for each day I get.
2020 was always going to be a turbulent year for me. I knew this going into it. I’ve never felt so unsettled. Everything I’ve ever known has been tossed into the air and is coming down in chunks. Some hitting me hard, others scattering across the landing zone.
I’ve just started reading Alyssa Terkeurst’s book ‘It’s not supposed to be this way’. She talks about how we live for outcomes, and how often we are in the space in between.
I haven’t read enough to know her answers – but I do believe God is a God of the in-between. He is in-between relationships. He is in-between promotions. He is in-between the fires of life when we feel burnt out and are giving up. And He is there in the in-between of the job crisis.
So, if you are like me and are unsettled. Don’t give up. Keep going. This too shall end. What we go through, how we feel, these are temporary feelings, temporary situations. Keep moving. Remind yourself you are loved and loveable. Remind yourself your inability to land a job isn’t personal.
So, if you get an email saying you are unlikely to progress – remember – God is in your today. He is already ahead of you in your tomorrow. His ‘unlikely to progress’ means you are closer now than you were before.
I’m thinking of everyone out there struggling through this. Keep going and stay strong! ❤️