Her eyes looked straight ahead

Dark, hard, unseeing

The thought of breathing… a threat

To her secret dam of pain

She blinks as she feels it

The darkness within

Rising like a captive seeking light

Moving up her body til its cutting off her air

Like a gag in her throat

Desperate for release from a thousand emotions

The demands unrelenting,

Threatening to choke and destroy

For loved ones who are no more,

For the crushing blackness of pain that lurks

Haunting memories unknown, yet known in her very soul,

For love, absolute, lost in the confusion of life, destroying her,

Breaking her

For the thousand why’s, when’s, what’s, where’s and how’s

That never end….

The expectations unceasing, the constant cry that requires more,

Yet gives nothing in return

Like an enraged beast, the scream

Inside her rises

Wanting, needing, to be free

But – She keeps looking straight ahead

Dark eyes hard, unseeing

Too scared to give in to the forces that rage within

For if she screams, she may not stop

She may succumb to the darkness that lurks

The fragile girl within, lost to the depths

And so she swallows and keeps it all inside

The questions thick in the air–

Is true strength in holding on, or in letting go?

And does

Pain trapped, destroy more than pain released?

Today… today is not the day to risk it,

For she fears she may not survive

And so she fights it, pushing the scream

Back down…

Stares straight ahead

Dark eyes hard, unseeing

It’s just another day. Her scream will wait….